The Cost of ‘Killing It’: How to Rebuild When Success Leaves You Empty (with Charlotte Carter)

We’re told to chase success, to hit the big milestones, to keep pushing for more. But what happens when you reach the top and it still doesn’t feel right?

In this episode, I’m joined by Charlotte Carter, founder of I Dare to Leap and a powerhouse coach to high performers worldwide. Charlotte opens up about the moment she realized that despite the six-figure months and external validation, she was living someone else’s version of success – not her own.

We dive into:

• The hidden cost of “having it all” and why it can leave you feeling empty.
• The danger of building a life on borrowed dreams and other people’s strategies.
• How to reconnect with your authentic self and reclaim your own vision.
• The practical steps Charlotte took to align her business with her soul – and how you can too.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing instead of living, or like your big life is missing a vital piece, this conversation is for you.

Connect with Charlotte:

Website: https://idaretoleap.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamcharlottecarter

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcharlottecarter/

CONNECT WITH EIMEAR

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Transcript

The Cost of ‘Killing It’: How to Rebuild When Success Leaves You Empty

So my guest this week is the lovely Charlotte Carter, who is the founder of I Dare to Leap, where she mentors high performers around the world and brings a multimodality approach to her work, including clinical hypnotherapy, NLP, energy healing, breath work. Just to name a few of the modalities. She's also a bestselling [00:01:00] author and a podcast host herself.

And in this episode we really look at how Charlotte chose alignment over validation and learned how to lead herself instead of blending in her seeking approval. A really great episode, I hope you enjoy it. Charlotte, thank you so much for being on the podcast. Welcome. Thank you so much for inviting me on.

I'm excited to have this conversation with you. Yeah, I'm, I'm really excited for it too. I wanna, I wanna dive right in 'cause we've shared, I've introduced you to our listeners and obviously bestselling author, six figure, multi six figure coach to women all around the world. High performers, high achievers, but it wasn't sort of.

Always like that you weren't always feeling fully sort of embodied and in alignment. Can you tell us a little bit about the background to, you know, that moment when you [00:02:00] found yourself, you know, making the kind of money that other people would dream of, you know, over 70,000 pounds a month. Externally, it looked like while success and internally things weren't quite right, can you take us a little bit on that journey to the arrival at that point?

Yeah, sure. Well, well pre that, pre that point. So pre that point, I was about, in my first couple of years with the business and everything was moving very, very, very, very quickly. And I thought, you know what? I've actually made it. I had, it was that, that particular month was January. It was January of 2022, and I had.

For what some people would say, all of my ducks in a row in the business. It's like I've got my one-to-one sorted, my mastermind sorted. I've got some group programs. I've got everything lined up. I know where I'm going. I've got people that have bought it before Christmas. Everything was pretty much all good to [00:03:00] go, and I had a huge realization that everything that I'd worked for didn't feel so good inside.

It was somebody else's story, somebody else's strategy, somebody else's plans, somebody else's dream, for want of a better word. And that's what happened in that particular month. On the outside, they looked like I had it all, but in the inside I felt pretty empty. 

And who was that person? You know, when you think about, this wasn't my, I wasn't quite living my life.

Were you able to identify who that was, whose dreams you'd been pursuing or that you'd realized where it felt like that doesn't quite fit? 

Yeah, so I had gone through what I would call the not good enough phase, the people flick piece, people please a phase and the external validation phase. So I had [00:04:00] earned money and invested in multiple mentors.

So I'd had a sales mentor, a strategist, a marketing mentor, a mindset mentor. I had multiple, multiple, multiple mentors. And this version that landed on all this cash was a com combination of all of the mentors advice. None of them were truly mine. Um, none of them were truly, uh, embodied. I'd kind of like taken pieces from everyone and they'd not really landed in the way that I had like them to.

It almost feels like you are. An imposter in your own life or you're living somebody else's own life. But it looks, it looks very good on the outside. There's lots of validation and people going, oh, you've got everything that I've dreamed of. How did you then make a shift from there? Something that felt externally, very, very validating, but an emptiness inside going, [00:05:00] this isn't authentically me.

There was so much, uh, like awakening in terms of energetics, and it's like, hang on. Life is gonna show you lots of different things to be able to reveal who you really are. So whilst I had all of that external success, I was like, actually, I don't really feel like I love myself. I feel like I've lost myself in the mirror.

I like, I don't really feel like my relationships are great. I don't really feel like all the other parts of my life feel so, so good. So the journey was then about very much going within and, and understanding and unlocking my own energetic frequency potential in a way that I'd never looked at it before.

So it was like doing all of the seeking within rather than seeking outside. 

And when you talk about that, when you look in the mirror and you kind of say, I don't really recognize this person. You know, my relationships aren't where they want to be. This business is doing all the right things. But on all the other levels, there [00:06:00] had been sort of deterioration.

Had you, had there been sort of red flags that you had sort of pushed past in pursuit of this externally validated vision of success? When you reflect on it now after having done so much work?

So I would talk about my growth, and maybe this happens with your listeners as quite profound identity shift moments.

 So sometimes you have them when they're micro small way, like I, you know, I can sense the red flag. I'm just gonna tweak it. I'm gonna get myself back on track. But I know for me, 2019, 2022, and then 2 25, they've all been. Like massive identity shifts of full embodiment of who I am. So 2019, when I first set my business, it was like, okay, I'm gonna actually embody who I am.

And not do what I was doing. 2022 came, my spiritual awakening came, everything else [00:07:00] came. This whole big piece around earning the cash and not knowing everything else. And then this year was like the final identity shifter. I'm like, oh, actually now I'm full on back in full circle of allowing myself to have it all.

So tell us a little bit about the, when you say the, you know, there's these. Pivotal moments, right? 2019 that kind of realizing I'm out of alignment basically. And I need to go inward and sort of have a look at how that happened and how I do the energetic work to really reconnect and see what, where's the me in all of this that isn't being fully expressed.

Because you talked about. You know, 85% of myself was sort of squashed and not being embodied, reflected in how I was interacting in my relationships and everything else. How do you, how do you do the work or how did you do that work and begin to make that change from going, oh this, there's this part of me, I've been in [00:08:00] performance mode taking on all of these parts from all of these mentors, and it's functioning very well externally, but it's empty because there's this 85% of me that is here going, Hey.

You know, we're here for more than this. How did you begin to reconnect to that and maybe share some of the modalities that you feel were most effective? 

Yeah, sure. So the jump from the 2019 to the 2022 version, just so that people get the picture. That was where I went in and I did a series of healing on myself.

So I've not had what I would say, I've had a great life, so I was quite surprised that all these pieces of me that, uh, required an element of healing or nurturing or allowing some space to release. So that's what that first piece was. So then when I got into this space where it's like, oh, okay, I feel like way more myself now.

I feel like I've released any resistance and anything that brought me to this present moment. Now I'm like, okay, now [00:09:00] that 85%, now it's time to really understand how she can shine, because now she's. Heels and the seed has been planted for her to flourish, it was, okay, how do I do that? So then it was when I really looked at all of the aspects of biohacking and being able to understand how my nervous system regulated, being able to tune into the mind body connection, and I went on my own energetic expansion.

So it was all about filling my own cup up and understanding who I am and letting that energy be visible and letting the world see it. 

That's really powerful. And particularly also what you said at the very beginning there, Charlotte was like, I had a happy background and upground up upbringing and um, because there are many people that will resonate.

Like we think I don't have any big trauma, you know, I should just get on with it. And people will recognize your accent. You're British, stiff upper lip is very culturally [00:10:00] embedded in the UK as well. So the idea of. Oh, I need to go heal myself and go on this energetic, you know, journey and think about my nervous system and how to regulate that and connect with these parts.

There isn't an awful lot of external validation for that kind of work. Can you speak to, to that sort of culturally, 'cause it'd be people listening from the UK or for different cultures who, when we talk about these journeys inwards, some people can be. And maybe I was initially, many years ago, kind of like, oh, it's all very self-indulgent, isn't it?

You know, just get on with it. Hunker down, do the work. And as I'm speaking to you, maybe some people will see a snippet of a video of this episode. You have a whole selection of medals behind you from, you know, physical challenge events that is, you know, often. You know, I do long distance running as well.

That's there's a lot of [00:11:00] self-discipline and just steel yourself and grit your teeth and go for it. Can you sort of speak a little bit to that societal context that many of us feel a little bit trapped in? Because when we're doing this work it can feel a little bit like, this is self-indulgent, this isn't productive.

Yeah, sure. Great question. So I was very much in that mindset of. If everyone else is okay, I'm okay. Mm. So that was the pattern and it was very much, um, don't ask me again because I might have to think a bit deeper about what my answer really is. When people asked you if you were okay, it was all about looking after everybody else, so.

The piece that I knew as part of my own journey was around. I know that actually some of the things that I'm holding in my life in my business are pretty tough. They're pretty full on. I know that exercise is gonna help me. So I went and did all my exercise and that's where I thought, I was like, Hey, do you know what I'm, I'm kind of still nailing it because I'm [00:12:00] counteracting some of the inner work.

That feels a little bit like you say a little bit. Selfish self ind not really productive. And I'm gonna counteract it by doing this real physical stuff. 'cause I'm gonna feel really good by that. And I'm gonna feel alive and like I've counteracted some of the stuff that I'm working through that's never gonna work because you're on full on, um, working through your stuff and you're on full on alert with your exercise.

So it's about having that balanced approach. And I think this is where high performers, high achievers, find this piece of struggle. Mm-hmm. They are, they are driven to achieve. And so when something is like, actually part of that achievement is rest and restoration, you're like, no, I'm bored. I feel restless.

That doesn't feel good. I can't see the point. And everything like that comes in. And I had to learn that a lot. I had to learn to be very present. I had to learn to slow myself down, and that all felt [00:13:00] societally. Um, like I was not really a high achiever anymore. I was like, Hey, I've just paused it all and I was very much, I talk about, um, being off, coming off the treadmill of life.

Mm-hmm. 

And when you are a high achiever coming off that it feels like you've lost yourself because you are like, hang on a minute. Well, where do I go now? 'cause this is kinda like how it works. This is how I thrive. And there's no thriving in the stillness until you get past the sweet spot where you actually, you thrive even more when you can balance the two.

I think that's so key what you're sharing there, particularly because of the people that you are you are serving are gonna be coming to that with a lot of resistance around this idea of stillness. Slow down. Pause. They're kind of like clicking their fingers going, yeah. And what's the outcome and is there an exercise for this?

And when are the results and how will we measure that? And it is that, um, sort of dopamine driven society and like [00:14:00] more, more and rest has to be earned. And I think it also speaks to that really important piece that you're talking about is where we. Really are shifting that identity and noticing that we're not authentically ourselves and how we're wearing so many roles as identity.

I remember when I left, I used to work in law and I left wearing all of the dark suits and the gray suits, and I was home for a while and I'm suddenly like, geez, I'm not getting any, I'm not getting any respect here. Sort of notice I need to get back. Put the suit on because that's the role that gives me this validation.

So this stillness, tell me about some of the, you know, when you talk about the spiritual awakening, was that 2022, that real, what were the, what were the key components of that for you to, to really break open and really unlock the full Charlotte so that you could. Really connecting to that and [00:15:00] serve from that powerful place.

I, I think there's a real depth of awareness that comes through when people go through their own version of, um, a spiritual awakening. And when things kind of fall away in your life, so friendships and relationships change and they're not what you thought they were, and you start to question a lot of things and start to question yourself.

And so what happened with me is like, okay. I am really key on the power of the mind and body. Nobody can take that away from me. I was born in it. It's mine and it's mine alone. And for me, my high performance tools and habits and hacks allowed me to access this like, um, ascension of consciousness where I tapped into my own energetics, being able to bring in my own spirit guides.

And there was like, I wasn't so much alone, so everything had kind of crumbled in my. 3D Life, shall we say. And I was like, oh, okay. This is what it's all about. This is when I have that yearning for more. This is what it actually is, and [00:16:00] it's about being very present in yourself. Without anybody else, without.

And being able to be very present in society as well and having it all. So a lot of people that I work with this piece around, having it all is a difficult concept. Mm-hmm. Because the success without sacrifices kind of where I'm going, like you can have success and it can easy and you can take days off and you can have still, and you can have fun without doing any work.

You can have all of these things. But you have to allow yourself to expand yourself to receive all of that. 

And there's a lot of releasing in that from, from so many, um, stories that we're all being conditioned into in our societies. Um, you spoke a little bit there about, you know, relationships change, friendships change because when you go through what you are describing.

There are gonna be people in your life who don't understand it and who are [00:17:00] more interested in you remaining the version of you that they were most comfortable with. Did you have that experience too? And can you share some maybe wisdom on how, if somebody's struggling similarly with these relationships?

Yeah. What you learned. 

Yeah, sure. So I had it with like personal relationships, friendships, and then I had, I had it like in my business because my business was all built on scientific high performance. Just like, hang on a minute, now you're bringing in energetics. And people are like, what? So obviously some of the people are like, no, you are my scientific high performer.

No, that's, I'm not buying into that. So I had it on the two angle, personal and professional. And what I would say for people is this is where you've gotta anchor into your own truth. And I always caveat these in that all of the relationships are nothing stays the same. So everything changes and grows, and every single person that you have that comes into your life will be there.

I talk about season reason or a lifetime, that [00:18:00] kind of phrase, and I. Allow people to make their own judgment. 'cause some people will come into your life, you may change, they may question you, but your friendship might just enrich from that space. And it might be that that friend is somebody that you do your obstacle course races with, for example.

But they're never gonna be the person that you really talk about spirituality with. They're just gonna be a friend that fills that part of your life. And you can wholeheartedly own that. And I think for me, there's a real lesson around not every friend has to get all the parts of you. The true friends, the true your true crowd do, but not every friend does.

And then it's about your discernment really, as to who you allow into your energy and how it feels and what you both get. 'cause life's all about co-creation, what you both get from it. But I remember feeling very lost, very hurtful, thinking a lot of it was my fault. And now there's a lot of me realizing that actually when you change the people.

That don't change and what you change, you are not the same. So you are on a completely different [00:19:00] frequency and they might stop you. They might hold you back. If they're like that and they're not cheering you on, then they're not your person. They're not gonna help you because life should be around everybody cheering each other on everybody here to allow everybody to be their, you know, they're greatest, expansive self.

And if somebody's holding you back, then that's kind of their story and take comfort in that and send them compassion and love and understand that actually. You are here for your life and your energy's precious. Your life's precious, and the right people will come in for you. 

Mm. I'm just drinking all of that wisdom in Charlotte that you said, because it really is just, is, feels, fills the heart to see it like that because so many people struggle with that divine truth.

That everything is always in flux and in change and is impermanent and that includes. You know, many relationships and when we're trying to clinging onto something that really we need to [00:20:00] release, we suffer. We suffer, and those parts of ourselves that are wanting to break out and express themselves are squashed.

Kind of like that, you know, that version of you so many years ago now that was squashed and, and unexpressed and, and, and all of that. Brilliance and magic wasn't able to come out. What would you say to the woman who's maybe stuck in the phase of, I know this life, isn't it, but I'm scared to burn it down phase.

What could you say to her to give her some encouragement, some hope, some direction? 

So I would always say. So connecting to what? If you knew you only had one more year to live, what would you really wanna be [00:21:00] doing? I'm a positive psychology coach, and one of the tools is about this kind along this thread, and while at first it might seem like a negative thread, it actually brings a lot of things into your mind and allows you to collapse time a bit where you're like, actually, if I'd like to do all these things.

Why aren't I turning my energy into doing those things rather than looking at what I'm gonna lose? So it's allowing yourself to gather your courage and gather your strength to look at what the infinite possibilities rather than what you are losing. And I know this is a, um, I call it wading through treacle with people because it's really difficult.

It's really heavy and you're like, yeah, but, and I talk about having a foot in both camps and part of me is like, yeah, but this life is really comfortable and I get it and I, you know, I'm gonna be feel really hurt and lost. And then when you finally put both feet in the other camp, you're like, oh my goodness.

I know I've transitioned into this different place that I am really glad. And quite often people say, you know, [00:22:00] we should have done it sooner, that kind of space. So I always say. If you only had a finite time, where would you allow yourself to think? And then that will allow yourself to build your courage and go, do you know what?

Actually, why am I just waiting for that particular time? Why can't I move myself in a way? Some people leap, some people go slower. Why can't I move myself in a way that feels good into where I really desire to be? 

Beautiful. Beautiful. I'm sure that's gonna be very helpful and it really kind of resonates with your, with your business name, you know, dare to leap and, and as you say, some people.

I can't quite make the leap. And, and as long as you're stuck in that t trickle phase, I love how you put it like that. 'cause that really resonates about how it feels. 'cause we, we really think we're losing something. You know, it's kind of that loss aversion psychology of like, and, and people going with the sunk cost fallacy.

I'll just keep trying this old thing or working with this old relationship. Maybe it'll change so slow to release. [00:23:00] And walk towards the opportunity that is probably there energetically going, looking at its watch going, come on, you're actually not immortal. Can you please, you know, shift a lot, shift a little.

Did you, what did you, what was the last kind of thing that you felt that you personally were kind of clinging onto that you felt most difficult to release? Do you feel. 

So for me, one of the biggest pieces was around, um, allowing myself to have it all. Because my journey had been okay. I've got so pre presetting up the business, I had, you know, all of the love connections, family, friendships, everything like that.

But I wasn't truly fulfilled, so I didn't have the fulfillment bit and I didn't have any of the financial aspect. Then I had all the financial aspects aspect, but I didn't have the other piece. So the aspect for me was around, actually you can have. Self-love. You can have fulfillment, you can have success.

You can have happiness, you can have your health, fitness, all of these [00:24:00] things. You can't actually have them all at the same time. You don't have to do one and then wait for the other. You are allowed to feel good. So that was the piece for me to not, I, I, I noticed this, and maybe your listeners will resonate with this.

Once you start to do this kind of work, you start to notice, oh my goodness, this pattern that I'm doing in this one area. It actually flows into all the other areas. So when you start to see your growth and go, do you know what? I'm gonna change this particular piece. Say it on something about boundaries.

I'm gonna tighten up my boundaries in this area of my life. And do you know what it ripples about into every other area? So actually now I feel like I'm pretty more energized 'cause I've got myself a little bit more in the self-leadership place. And so when you do that with multiple aspects, you start to feel.

Really alive. And I think that was the piece for me. The, um, not sacrificing different pieces of my fulfillment journey. Should we say, um, that was the last thread to go. 

That's really powerful because it. [00:25:00] It kind of jumps up against this idea of, for women in particular that we were sold, this idea that we could have it all and having it all that you're talking about.

I think there's a distinction to make in the one that society has says you can have it all because that message was. You can be like a man. You can go and work your, um, full-time job, nine to five. You can work in corporate America or corporate Britain. Um, you can rise to the top of that. You can have your babies and not.

And not notice anything, you know, changing in your career. You can have time to go to the gym, you can be cooking wonderful nutri. It's a different, having it all right? And I think there might be people who are listening and they're in those nine to five types of jobs and like, so when you are talking to people.

In your business about having it all on this level in this way, how do you, [00:26:00] um, how do you make that distinction between the societal kind of messaging that has so tortured so many women in, in the corporate world? Because they feel like they're failing because they couldn't make the impossible work. And then this other level of having it all in such a, a deep, energetic sort of embodi embodied way that you are describing.

Could you just speak to that? 

Yeah, sure. Um, so I always talk about three pillars with this. So the first pillar is wellbeing. Mm-hmm. Which is allowing yourself to feel really good, whatever that looks like for you. And this is really interesting. So like you've mentioned, I've got my medals. I love the old obstacle races.

I feel really good doing that. Somebody else is like, no way. There's no way that me to feel good at all. I feel really good doing the ice bath. People are sauna. So whatever allows you to feel good, uniquely good for you is all [00:27:00] about the wellbeing pillar, and I always start with that, tune into that, what it is, and have it.

Unapologetic. If you love Bingeing a series and it actually allows you to feel good and get lost and turn yourself off and tune into something, then do do that. But just know that what it is that you are feeling with your mind and body, get yourself in a place where you are working through your energy.

You're allowing it to move, however that works for you. So owning that, owning all of your, um, quirks and desires in that kind of space, in the wellbeing space. Then I talk with people about happiness and joy. Mm-hmm. So many people, uh, limit this. And again, as a positive psychology coach, I am, you know, trained in the science of happiness and wellbeing.

So happiness is key. We are actually allowed to feel happy and happiness is a. States, and one of the things that happens with people that I work with, and maybe it happens with some of your listeners, is they've lost sight of what the happiness is because happiness is like. A thing that moves. So five [00:28:00] years ago, what brought you happiness?

It might not be the same thing now. So people are not necessarily as connected. So I connect people to their happiness, which for some people is very connected to their wellbeing. For some people it's very distinct, and some people, it's like a hobby or a pastime or somewhere where they can really escape and understand that.

And then the final one that I always say to people is energetic alignment. If you don't feel good, if you've got your wellbeing right and you've got some places for happy and you still feel like you're living life surface level, you still feel like there's more, then it's all about your energetic alignment, which is about your purpose, your passions, and your performance.

So what's missing there? Are you like, you've got everything landed and you're not in the same you, you're not in the right job, or you've got everything landed, but you're still a workaholic or you've got everything landed. But um. It's not serving you in the way. There's way more, you wanna do something completely different.

So they're the areas that I start with, with people, and then it kind of evolves from there. 

I love it. Purpose, passion, performance. [00:29:00] Beautiful. I love little P three P. Yeah, the three Ps. I love a good acronym. When you think about, like, it really sounds like people are getting on their own side. They're really beginning to have a deeper connection to knowing themselves on an energetic, on a physical, on a mental and emotional level.

That you take a really holistic approach and sort of meet the individual where they are and sort of look to remove those points of friction and move them into a, the, their most expansive, sort of, their most expansive way of being. So. Can you explain a little bit about, you know, where you are now, how life is different for you?

As, you know, your first kind of, um, your first student is? Our first student is always ourselves. We become the embodiment of what we then need to share with the world and to serve. Can you kind of share, you know, where you are now and how that. Is for [00:30:00] you, and then maybe we can talk a little bit about how you're bringing that into the lives of so many other women through your work.

Yeah, sure. So for me. There's a real deep sense of inner peace, a real certainty of myself, a real understanding of my brilliance, my capacity, my energetic capabilities. I have no doubt. So there's like unshakeable certainty in who I am, and that feels incredibly grounded. I. And so I live a life around my various personal practices that allow me to ground myself in my mind and body, but also expand myself into new opportunities, new energetic spaces, new realms for, um, experiences to come to me.

So it just feels like I am in what I call living life in flow. So living life in flow, in your relationships, in your feeling like you are in a. Harmony with yourself. So it just feels very much energized, [00:31:00] if that makes sense. 

Yeah. And a beautiful, a beautiful word too, like living in harmony with yourself.

'cause often we're, we're. Not we're in resistance or we're grasping after something. Yeah. You spoke about, you know, the importance of the, you know, some of the rituals that you do to create and maintain that state. Um, what's something small that you do regularly now that you might never have made time for before that really is a part of creating this sense of wholeness and ener, you know, energetic alignment and wellbeing.

Probably the one that I do that's like the quickest is, um, mind and heart coherence. 

Mm. So a practice that, allows you to regulate your mind with your heart and allow you to be very, very present in yourself. And because your heart is so, so powerful, um, way more powerful than your thoughts, than when you practice that, [00:32:00] when you practice that multiple times a day, then you get in this place of.

Just like floating through life. So that's one that I would always like. I would never, ever, ever, the old me would never have allowed myself to even do something like that because A, it's very quick. So it's like, why does it even work? That would be what I would be asking myself and how's it even gonna work?

'cause I don't understand it and all of that. That's the kind of place where it's the kind of thing that once you understand how it works and see the benefits of it, you, you then never don't do it. 

And how do you know that you're living in alignment now? What are the signs like in your body or in your mind?

That I am in alignment. I'm in alignment. Or perhaps it might be easier to say if you slip out sometimes. What's that first sort of signal that, oops. And to bring yourself. Okay. 

I'll say both. So that, uh, people, if people can then understand where they may be in life. So for me, when I slip out, it's when I go into overthinking.

So I've gone back into my head thinking, my head's got the answers. So that's a [00:33:00] typical one with, uh, you know, hy Achievers. 'cause they'd be used to searching for the answers in their head. And that would be, uh, or like a bit of procrastination. So they are kinda like the typical ways that people would pop out of alignment.

For me, when I'm in alignment, it is when for me, because my energy is very like full of zest and full of life and full of vigor and vitality, I just have that within my, like within myself, but it feels very grounded, whereas pre. All this work, it felt like I was running on adrenaline. Now I know that that excitement and that um, internal state of, yeah, you know, hey, do you know what?

Let's serve, what a great life. That kind of energy. That's when I'm in true alignment. 

And you talked about being flow and we obviously are. Thematic thread is being in alignment. I'll be curious, um, about what your morning, if you have a rigid morning ritual, what that might look like throughout the week.

You spoke about, you know, people need to, [00:34:00] when they think about that first pillar of wellbeing, that they need to tune into wha wellbeing means for them. So you'd mentioned the coal plunge. Can you share a little bit about that routine? 'cause setting yourself up Yeah, sure. For being in alignment really.

Yeah, sure. So the first thing that I will always start the day with is appreciation. It's the absolute vibration to receiving all of the good stuff. So I always start the day with appreciation. Uh, now that's all like in my head, appreciating thing. But, um, when I first started this, it was around journaling on appreciation and gratitude and get myself into that space.

Then it's around, um, like. Some people may call it a meditative state, but a state of stillness, complete stillness where you all. Now I allow my guides to basically set the intentions for the day, but pre that, it was about around tuning into the stillness. Then it's around, okay, I've got myself still, and I've got myself intentional, and I'm gonna pick my three tasks for the day, [00:35:00] or three intentions for the day.

Then it's about tuning the body. So I then move into what's the movement? So sometimes it's like a full, you know, workout type thing. Sometimes it's a walk, sometimes it's stretching. There's a piece around that, and then it's the nervous system stuff. So either. Breath work or the ice bath or something that's gonna, uh, I I, I, I'm not so rigid as I used to be because I love a bit of variety

It's like one of those that will allow me to regulate myself and then I'm, and then it's a full on music. So then it's music. Get yourself in the high vibe and that's like, okay, I'm ready to start the day. 

And do you have any sort of end of the day sort of closing the day rituals or is it more the morning setting yourself up?

End of day 3, 2, 1 that I talk to people about. So three, um, moments of gratitude. Mm-hmm. Two moments of learning. I always, I, I'm a massive believer in your reflections are gonna allow [00:36:00] yourself to really keep growing and you have to own them. You have to own, you know, or reflected that I popped outta alignment or reflected that was a bit harsh then or reflected that I couldn't, whatever they are.

And then one moment of joy or one moment of bliss. What's the, what's the thing that actually, you know, if you, if you could tell somebody about your day, what would you say that was great about it? What would you actually say? And if, this is a great exercise for people because sometimes they realize that they have no moment of joy.

We're very much living in your head. Every day really does deserve multiple moments of joy. So start with finding one, and then you'll find more. And then, you know, life attracts like and you, where you focus on grows. So you end up having more of the gratitude, more of the joy, more of the happiness, and everything gets easier and life feels way more fulfilled.

Beautiful, beautiful. 'cause I think that's so true that people find it very difficult to, I mean, the happiness, the World Happiness Report just came out in the last week, um, as we're [00:37:00] recording this episode in, in March and. One of the questions that they ask in that report is, you know, asking people about when they last laughed or touched into feelings of happiness and joy and people really struggled with that question, and I love the idea of a 3, 2, 1, and.

Even if you're struggling to find an answer to that, that's an opening in and of itself. It's an invitation for a shift rather than just keep swimming on, just, you know, I'll just skip that because I don't have anything to write in it and it makes me feel bad, but it's like being present with it and allowing yourself to nonjudgmentally say, oh.

I'm out of touch with Joy. What can I do and what can I change about the way I'm showing up that will invite more of that in. What would you say the biggest, the biggest challenge that your clients have for you? You know, when they come to you, the biggest, most. You know, like, you [00:38:00] see it as like this thread through all of these different women coming to you.

High performance, very ambitious, um, very driven. What's one thing that you feel like I always have to do that type of work with all of these women? What would that be?

I always have to do embodiment practices. 

Mm. 

All of these women are powerful creators, but. 80, 90%, they live in their head.  So I , and everything feels alien when we first, when I first say, drop into your body, how does it feel?

Can you relax yourself? Can you feel anything? Everything that there's, you know, numerous blocks because they haven't lived like that. So that's always, always the, the, the continual theme, dropping into the body and then also dropping into ease. How can we pause life a minute? Can we just pause how fast you're speaking?

Can we just pause everything that you're telling me just for a moment [00:39:00] and tell me what it feels like? That's always where we start. 

Yeah. 

And, and that brings everything up for them. 

Yes. There's nothing like pausing and stillness for all those things that people have been pushing down and ignoring to come bubbling up and saying, Hey.

Maybe I could have some attention now. I think this is where we need to focus. So I'd like to ask this question as we come towards the end of an episode. So I wonder if we could get some of your fabulous wisdom on this. What does choosing yourself look like for you right now, Charlotte? 

So, for me personally, it's very much around unconditional love for myself. So being in a place where I practice self-compassion, I practice unconditional love, I [00:40:00] practice sharing my gifts and being bold in them, um, allowing myself to stand strong in what I believe in, uh, is a real piece of that for me. But ultimately it's around. Serving myself first to be able to create a bigger impact in the world.

Beautiful. And speaking of that, bigger impact in the world, Charlotte, I know people are listening to this episode and will be very eager to get in contact with you to learn more about how you serve and what you offer. So can you share where the best place is for people to connect with you and to learn more about your mentoring, your programs, and all of the goodness that you bring into the world? 

Yeah, sure. So I'm more often on Instagram, which is I am Charlotte Carter on [00:41:00] the, I'm also on LinkedIn, which is the same. I am Charlotte Carter and my website where I have my Align program, my one-to-ones, and my activator program. Things where people can get in touch and tune into wherever they are on their journey is on my website, which is I dare to leap 

Perfect. Thanks so much, Charlotte, and we'll share all of those links in the show notes. Thank you for a wonderful conversation today. 

Thank you so much. I have really, really loved it. It's definitely activated by soul, so I've really enjoyed it. Thank you so much for the opportunity. 

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for choosing to spend this time with me today.

If you enjoy the episode and it resonated with you, please consider subscribing. And share this podcast with someone you know who would benefit from the message. If you'd like to take things a step further, you'll find some free and paid resources in the show notes. [00:42:00] And until next time, in the unlikely event that no one has told you this yet today, let me have the profound honor of reminding you that you are truly magnificent and the world is a far better and brighter place because you are here with us all.

See you next time.