Unlocking The End Game: An Ancient Secret to Living With Purpose

In this profound episode, Eimear explores the ancient practice of Memento Mori and its modern applications. Through historical wisdom and contemporary examples, she reveals how contemplating our mortality can bring crystal clear focus to what truly matters in life, helping us move from distraction to purpose-driven living.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 Introduction: Mary Oliver’s Question

00:49 The Power of Life's Finite Nature

01:32 Marcus Aurelius and Meditations

02:20 Influence of Meditations

04:15 The Five Remembrances

06:40 Memento Mori: Embracing Life's Preciousness

09:23 The Memento Mori Exercise

15:46 Living with Purpose and Clarity

21:15 Invitation to Practice

22:42 Closing Thoughts and Resources

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- Ancient wisdom about mortality brings clarity to modern life choices

- Successful leaders throughout history have used this practice

- The exercise isn't about death - it's about living fully

- Clarity comes quickly when we face our mortality

- Our actions are our only true belongings

QUOTABLE MOMENTS

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" 

- Mary Oliver

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." 

- Maya Angelou

"You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think."

 - Marcus Aurelius

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life."

 - Steve Jobs

PRACTICAL TOOLS

1. The Memento Mori Exercise Part One - Writing your current life eulogy

2. The Memento Mori Exercise Part Two - Creating Your Purposeful Life Vision

3. Regular life review practice - Following the Panera co-founder's example

4. The Five Remembrances - Buddhist practice for perspective

RESOURCES

📚 Choose Yourself Book: Get more details about the Memento Mori exercise in Chapter Two: The Lost Self : Get the book

🌟 Share your insights: Use #UnlockingTheEndGame on Instagram

📖 Recommended Reading: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

CONNECT WITH EIMEAR

📱 Instagram: @eimearzonecoach

💻 Website: eimearzone.com 📧

Email: hello@eimearzone.com

Subscribe to Girl, Choose Yourself on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

© 2025 Eimear Zone Coaching. All rights reserved.

Transcript

Unlocking The End Game: An Ancient Secret to Living With Purpose

Welcome back to the podcast. "Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" When poet Mary Oliver asked this question, she was getting at the same truth that leaders throughout history have discovered: there's nothing like the recognition of life's finite nature to bring crystal clear focus to what really matters. Today, we're looking at a powerful, ancient practice that's as relevant now as it was 2000 years ago.

Picture this: It's 170 AD. The most powerful man in the world is sitting in his tent on a military campaign. Instead of plotting conquests or counting his riches, he's writing in his personal journal: "You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think." That was Marcus Aurelius, and his private journal, which was never meant for publication, would become one of the most influential books in history: Meditations.

I came across it years ago while listening to Tim Ferriss's podcast. Tim asks his guests to recommend a book or mention one they most often give as a gift. Meditations kept coming up from many influential, successful people Tim would interview. I heard it mentioned so many times that I bought and read it - it was an incredible read.

It's fascinating to see who keeps coming back to these words from Marcus Aurelius. Bill Clinton, the 42nd President of the United States, keeps the book by his bedside. James Mattis, the Four-Star Marine Corps General and former Secretary of Defense, carried it into combat. Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president, read it. John Stuart Mill, one of history's most influential philosophers, studied it deeply, and Wen Jiabao, the former Premier of China, has read it over 100 times. Why? Because in his private reflections, Marcus Aurelius captured something timeless about getting clear on what really matters in life.

I'm studying to qualify as a mindfulness meditation teacher, and the Buddhists also have something similar regarding life's impermanence. There is a practice called the Five Remembrances that some practitioners do. Here they are:

- I am of a nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.

- I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.

- I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.

- All that is dear to me and everyone I love is of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.

- My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

There are so many practices, so many traditions where we're looking at this truth that life is short and finite. The question becomes: what are you going to do about that? How are you going to grasp it?

In more modern times, Steve Jobs gave a famous speech in 2005 at Stanford. He was sick at the time, and he said something very similar to Marcus Aurelius: "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important."

There's a practice called Memento Mori, which means "remember you must die." This practice isn't about death - it isn't morbid. It's about living with absolute clarity and embracing how precious life is. It's easy to be so distracted in our day-to-day that we forget and don't live with purpose because we're not really connected to the truth that we don't know how long we have.

Maya Angelou reminded us that "life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." When was the last time a moment took your breath away? When was the last time you felt awe or wonder or bliss or joy?

In our modern world, we're drowning in distractions, options, and expectations. Social media bombards us with countless versions of success, and we're so busy responding to life's urgency that we forget to choose what's really important. The noise of "should" has gotten louder and louder, drowning out our inner wisdom.

The question isn't just how long we're going to live - because none of us knows that. It's about how deeply and authentically we're going to live each moment we're given. That's why I want to introduce you to this ancient practice rooted in the wisdom of Meditations.

Let me outline the practice briefly - you can find more details in Chapter Two of my book. It starts with imagining that at this moment, right now, your life ended. Look at your watch, the date - whenever you're listening to this - it's stopped and finished. Then imagine you are present at your funeral or memorial service a few days after your passing. Think about who would eulogize you. Write your obituary, write the eulogy, write what you think would be said about you and the life you've lived up to this point.

This can be unsettling because often you find you're not really living deeply into a sense of meaning and purpose. If your life was snatched away right now, you might have many regrets. When I've done this with people, this is the difficult part - they realize they've lost contact with certain people or become so disconnected that they don't even know who would be at their service.

The next part of the exercise, typically done about a week after Part One, is where you think seriously about life being meaningful and not putting off what matters. Ask yourself this question (I'm reading from the book): "If my life could be about anything, if it were just between me and my heart, if no one would ever judge me, laugh at me or tell me it's impossible, if I were bold and brave about my innermost dreams, what then would I want to be about in my one wild and precious life, and to be that so powerfully that it was undeniably obvious to those around me?"

Imagine that from this moment forward, you live your life really connected to and aligned with what feels most vital and important to you. Every goal might not be magically realized, but the direction you're taking would be evident and clear. Return to your funeral or memorial service and imagine what that would be like if you lived life in that way and lived a full, long life.

In the second part, visualize that life and bring yourself to the end of it. Write what you might do, experience, achieve, what relationships you might form, where you might live, what projects you had taken on, what contributions you had made to your community or society at large. You are profoundly choosing yourself.

When people do this exercise, universal truths about what matters most emerge quickly - the people you want to spend more time with, how you want to feel. If you're somebody who procrastinates and second-guesses, do the Memento Mori exercise. Things get very clear, very quickly, because you see the gap between your current path and the legacy you'd leave if you were to leave now.

Here's another example: Ron Shaich, the Panera co-founder who made $7.5 billion, credits his success to writing his obituary annually. He calls this a "pre-mortem." Between Christmas and his birthday on December 30, he dedicates a day or two to visualizing himself at the end of his life. He writes an obituary or journal entry from that hypothetical future, then traces that back to his current time to determine what projects he needs to take on to move closer to that end game.

It's a powerful practice because often when we talk about choosing yourself, the question comes: "Choose myself for what exactly?" It can feel unsettling not knowing what you want. We get into habits and certain cadences in life, making it difficult to pinpoint what we really want. There are so many distractions that we can end up comparing ourselves to others or adopting their definitions of success that don't resonate deeply with us.

On my notice board opposite my desk, I have a picture of myself from kindergarten, around age six, and a picture of my grandmother in her 80s, sitting in a chair reading a letter. They're there to remind me that I want to make young girl Eimear proud, and when I'm my grandmother's age, sitting in my chair reading my books, I don't want to have regrets - I want to minimize them.

It's powerful to take yourself to that place of the end game and start thinking about what you want it to be like. In Chapter Two of my book "Choose Yourself," called The Lost Self, I dive deeper into this practice and how it connects to rediscovering your authentic desires. The full Memento Mori exercise is explained there in detail.

This week, I invite you to try this practice. I've shared enough in this podcast for you to do it. You're basically taking yourself to your funeral twice, but it's a positive exercise. I've done many different exercises, and this is one I come back to again and again. Feel your mortality and feel into it in a positive, fulfilling way. I think it's life-changing.

The Panera co-founder credits this type of practice for his success - that's $7.5 billion, and that's just money success. That's his definition of success. We all have our own definitions, but we get very clear on how we want to show up in our lives when we do an exercise like this.

I invite you to try this practice we explored today and notice what surfaces for you. What's one thing that becomes clear? What's one change might it inspire? If you feel like sharing your insights, use the hashtag #UnlockingTheEndGame on Instagram.

From Marcus Aurelius to Mary Oliver, from Steve Jobs to Maya Angelou, wisdom across the ages points to this one truth: life is precious and meant to be lived with purpose. It's your one wild and precious life, and it's waiting for you to claim it. Will you?